Are you lucky enough to have lived into your 40s or 50s?
Well welcome to middle age, my friend.
You, too, can now enjoy hot flashes, mood swings, night sweats, wrinkles, changes in your libido, and a decline in your energy level. We can ignore it, cry about it, deny it, or get angry about it. All of that is normal, but none of that is helpful.
What IS helpful is discussing it. And discuss it we shall.
Middle age isn’t just about physical, mental and emotional changes to our bodies. It’s also about the changing landscape of our lives. Songs like “Cat’s in the Cradle” or “Landslide” make you cry because they tap into the reality that we’re getting older and our fear that we will play a diminishing role in our kids’ lives. Change is scary.
Who are we now?
My view of myself changes minute to minute like I’m in a house of mirrors and everywhere I look is a different reflection of what I see on the outside and how I feel on the inside.
I’m at an age where I could pass
No domestic diva
for a vibrant woman in her early 40s,
or a woman in her late 20s who
is worn down and also could be sick.
“You look good for your age” or “You look good considering you’ve had a bunch of kids” are not the compliments people think they are. Why can’t people just say “You look good”? None of those pesky qualifiers are necessary.
Part of that self-reflection includes a lot of flipping through the memory files in our minds. You know how people say, “Someday this will be funny”? That time is now.
Hopefully my stories will remind you of your own and as you laugh or cry with me, you’ll also dig around in your own files and either enjoy or process the memories that pop up.
Also part of that self-reflection is wondering how to deal with all the changes and looking ahead with dread at what comes next. Aging sucks but it doesn’t have to be dreadful. The best way to process everything we’re going through is among friends who are going through the same thing.
So join me.
Middle age is only taboo if we are ashamed of it. And sure, there are things I really hate about it — even things about it that feel embarrassing and shameful. But all of it is better than not having lived long enough to experience it. Remind yourself of that the next time you throw out your back putting your pants on or catch a glimpse of the effects of gravity when you pass a mirror.
We’re all in this together.
By the way, what sadistic moron decided it was a good idea to install giant bathroom mirrors directly across from the shower? These are the points I ponder.